a Fatherhood lesson from Public Playground

I learned the hard way of being a Dad, not in a street fight, but in a Playground.

It was full, as usual. Most kids were above my son’s age.

That day, I forgot to bring him some additional toys such as a small bucket for him playing in the sand. But other than that, there’s nothing to worry. And there were already a few kids inside, which apparently knew each other or are siblings. So one more adult coming in was too many. Thus, I let him play by himself.

As I walked around, I noticed that my son already held some of other kids’ toys and play with it. It was unused anyway, but kids don’t like when their toys is taken, right?

And in that split moment, they took the toys from my son’s hand and after that he turned at me, with the sad look I will never forget…

He was clearly helpless to struggle because they were much bigger. Of course they didn’t mean to do harm, so they leave my son afterwards. But still, emotional scar can do larger damage than physical.

I was a big believer that children should learn to handle problems themselves. And I still am! But it changed a bit after that single moment…

Be the Side Keeper

Yes! a child should learn how to solve problems, but in an empowering environment. And it won’t happen, until each problem’s stakeholder is on an equal level. By being at their child’s side, however, Dad gives a direct positivity to the equation.

This applies to mother as well, but the event kind of touch my ego a bit 😛

I experimented it soon after, and with the same case. The bigger kids asked again, but calmly, to give their toys back. I turned to my son and ask, “what do you do when you borrow someone else’s toy?” “Should you turn it back?”

He gave it back, this time still smiling 🙂

I learned that by being at their side, we can give them confidence to settle issues and we can also proactively guide our children (not us solving the problem!).

But, is it over? No, there is other part of the equation: Their Parent. Which is when the trick parts comes in.

Keep Your Enemies Closer

The other parent would join too. And when they do, they tend to Not share the same insight as you have.

So, what should we do then to keep the game free of parent’s intervention? I did just three things a salesperson would do:

A. Take Initiative

Talk first. Say Hi with a smile. You’ll definitely have an upper-hand.

B. Play smart

Whether she’s a MMA Fighter or social activists, everyone loves when their child get praised. So talk about how lovely their child is.

And little kid is beautiful, it shouldn’t be hard 🙂

C. Secure Perimeter

Kids fight each other. It’s just their DNA. But when it happens, you and their parents have to become a team.

This is the fruit of your previous smart work. It’s when the other parent say, “look kid, if you have more toys than you can grab… Share it” 😛

It’s simple, right? But you have to play the first card, otherwise the House always wins.

Enjoy your game,