Summing 3 Years of Fatherhood • Widodo D. Putro

Time flies quickly and now he’s turning 3. Since I don’t want to miss memories during this period, allow me to sum these three years in some emotional stages and the circumstances at the time.

a Loving Dad

It all started magically when his cries filled the room.

I fell in love instantly.
I loved his smile and his cry.
I loved him when his diaper was full and her Mom was already asleep.
I (still) loved him when I realize he defecated. Arrgh!!! I only have learned to clean the liquid one…

a Proud Dad

He couldn’t even sit straight, but I just couldn’t help to be…

proud when he greeted everyone only with ba.. ba… bu… bu…
proud when he ate his first solid food.
proud when he called me the first time. His Mom comes later by the way :smirk:

a Missing Dad

We were separated for 5 months. I learned the hard way what family means.

I missed his chuckle.
I missed his growl whenever I take a bigger scoop of ice cream than his.
I miss him whenever he is absent. When I come home and he’s still at the kindergarten.
…
Sometimes though, I miss him being absence. Especially in the middle of the night when he’s suddenly awake just in time when his Mom and Dad want to … ahem.

Please son, just sleep! Daddy needs to do his thing?!

a Worrying Dad

He was already big enough to walk, to run… to explore outside world.

I was worried when he was surrounded by bigger boys and got intimidated.
Well, I was also worried when he some time after that intimidated a younger one.
I’m worried that I’m a bit too silly as a father.
I’m even more worried when I realized that he is as silly. I still believe he gets that from his Mom…

an Angry Dad

His Dad is no angel and I want him to see me as such. My Son needs to see me get a bit wild and then regulate my own emotion. I hope he will learn to regulate his that way.

When do I have an anger management problem?

When a disturbing smell coming out while I am waiting in line in the supermarket. You know where it comes from when everyone is looking at you.
When he insisted not to bring his bike and walk instead. 50 meters away and he already said: “I’m tired!”
When he was lovingly waking up his dad by practicing _Body Kick _from the Muay Thai video we watched together the night before. My ribs still hurt whenever I remember that.

a Loving Dad (again)

He’s already big, and his heart is definitely way bigger.

I love him when he kissed his Mom and put a blanket on her when she sleeps.
I love his initiative to help clean the house. Doesn’t always work the way I want, though.
…
I love you, son, just the way you are.

and the cycle goes on…

I’m grateful for the joyful roller coaster ride he has given and pray for the strength and ability to nurture his best.

I love you, son, just the way you are.